*** I realize I might get a lot of people upset with this one but it truly is what God's Word says. I don't like to be hated. That is not why I write these truths. The truth is I want to be liked, but I love the Lord too much to neglect telling the truth especially when it is poisoning the Church Body. So, here it goes...
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts
out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made
perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18 NKJV)
He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30
NKJV)
Take a close
look at today’s first scripture. Perfect love casts out fear. To have perfect
love is to have Jesus Christ. This is what makes Him the answer to any issue in
our lives. Why do we do the things that we hate? It’s because of fear; fear of
not being someone who makes a difference, fear of not being accepted or loved,
fear of being a nobody, fear of being alone, fear of many things. We need to
kill that fear with perfect love, because dear ones, “Love never fails” (see 1
Corinthians 13).
In my
childhood years, I had many people tell me (most of them in the psychology
field) that I need to love myself. I had a long period of time that was filled
with depression to a very severe state that had me hospitalized 3 different
times in my early years. I also had many people tell me that I need to forgive
myself for the things that I have done.
I’ve
heard about people with strongholds on their lives like eating addictions of
gorging themselves with food or anorexic tendencies of purging the large
amounts of food they just ate. Or, people with the desire to hurt themselves by
cutting up their arms, or with the severe hopelessness that they can not be
healed, so they drink large amount of liquor mixed with a bottle of sleeping
pills hoping not to wake up. The sad thing is there are many people that live
in bondage with many ways of dealing with life’s issues.
But I
have to tell you the issue isn’t because they lack self-love. In fact, they do
these things because they love themselves too much! Now, please dear one, let
me explain before you write this off as my ignorance or a lack of grace or
compassion. Remember, I too have been in that place of total despair of
thinking too low of myself or hating myself. I didn’t hate myself like I
thought I did. The truth is I thought way too much of myself and what others
thought of me that I became the center of my own world.
The
thing with gorging on food, cutting yourself, purging your food so you can look
thin or any other addiction isn’t because you don’t love yourself. It is
because you have got the focus on you in a very destructive way. The answer is
not to think of yourself in a positive way. It isn’t because you need to say
things like “I am successful”, “I am powerful”, “I am loved” or “I am
beautiful”. This kind of self-affirmation sounds good and maybe even sounds biblical.
But, the truth is the bible says nothing about loving ourselves. The answer, my
dear friends, is found in the cross! It is found in the total sacrifice in what
Jesus Christ has done for you!
You might
say what about Matthew 22:39 “…‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
This verse is not saying to love yourself. It’s a command to
love others LIKE you love yourself. Its assuming you already love yourself as
it says in Ephesians 5:28-29 “So husbands
ought to love their own wives as their own bodies... For no one ever hated
his own flesh…”.
According to that passage in Matthew 22, Jesus says the
whole bible is wrapped up in two commands: 1st Love God, 2nd
Love others. That is all! Nothing about yourself! Now, hold on, it’s not wrong
to recognize who you are in Christ Jesus. It’s not wrong to know you are loved.
You need this wisdom, but all wisdom comes from fear of the Lord (Proverbs
9:10). This “fear of the Lord” is a reverence and high respect. Without that
reverence we are incapable of loving Him. We love Him because He first loved us
(see 1 John 4:19).
Many people I talk to say “Yes, I agree. We should recognize
that we are loved and know that God is going to work mighty things through me.”
But the thing is they tend to stay there. This type of theology, I feel, can be
very dangerous. It can slowly persuade us to focus on ourselves. Yes, it is
true, God has a plan for your life just as every other person and He does work
miracles through us and gives us huge responsibilities. But the focus needs to
stay on Him!
Reflection:
The truth is, according to John
1:29, Jesus is the answer to all life’s problems! God’s Word says that He and
He only takes away the sins of the world. We do the things we do because of our
sin nature. Jesus even says in Mark 10:18 “Why do you call Me good? No one is
good but God.
Challenge:
Do you struggle with any of
these issues on how you are trying to deal with your problems? First, get on
your knees before a holy God and acknowledge Him for what He has done for you
on the cross and thank Him for it. Then, seek out someone that needs love.
Someone who is poor, or abused, or even someone that irritates you. Look close
into their life and see if there is something you can bless them with. Mercy
has the power to kill that obsession of serving yourself with any issue.
-Doug McGowan
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