Today’s
scripture:
“…God
testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own
heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” (Acts 13:22b)
“Even
youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope
in the Lord will renew their
strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow
weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)
I
want to be the first to say I do not have it all figured out. The more I learn
about God and the more I learn about the way I REALLY am, I’m humbled to say I
have got so much to learn! If I can be a little transparent and real with you,
there are times that I feel like the devil himself. I struggle with so many
things that are within my character. This is not a beat down on Doug session,
but I just got some insight of what God is wanting to do inside of my heart and
it is so humbling.
Just
when we think we are doing good and got it all together, God knocks on the door
of our heart and says “We need to have a talk”. Lets be honest, those are not
very comforting words to hear from the one who knows everything there is to
know about you. Seems as the closer I feel like I’m getting to God, the more I
am so very different than Him.
I
do know that God absolutely loves a broken heart. He will not ignore a broken
heart. He can’t! …see Psalm 34:18 and 51:17. Since I came to the Lord back in
2006, I have always wanted more of Him. I am on a constant search of His heart.
Even as I write this my heart aches for Him. I think we become broken and ache
for His heart when we realize that it isn’t anything we can do to make us grow
spiritually. In fact, left on our own, we will destroy everything we touch,
even ourselves within time.
Even
as I run after God’s heart I feel like I stumble all over the place running in
a staggered and crooked line for my target. But, God is not concerned with how
it looks. I mean, it doesn’t have to look perfect. He is more concerned about
our pride and if we are willing to submit to His will for us. Praise God that
He isn’t concerned with us being perfect or even close to looking good.
Sometimes I feel like king David or Peter the fisherman, often stumbling in sin
and inserting my foot into my mouth before I consider what comes out of it.
As
I write this I’m reminded of the christain movie “Facing the Giants” by
Sherwood Baptist Church. There is a scene in the movie where one of the
football coaches is trying to teach the kicker (who has never played football)
how to kick a field goal. The kicker kept trying to make it look good but he
just couldn’t get it thru those posts. Then the coach says to the kicker who’s
name was David in the movie, “It doesn’t have to look pretty. It doesn’t have
to look smooth. It can look like a dying duck, but the ball has to go through
the middle.”
That’s
what I feel like most of the time, a dying duck flopping thru the air. But, as
long as I am not giving up and keep fighting my flesh it doesn’t matter that it
doesn’t look pretty. At the end of the movie, the kicker “David” is faced with
his biggest challenge to win the game. He has to kick a 51 yard field goal and
his mind quickly fills with doubt that he can’t do it, and left on his own he
can’t, but the coach says to him give it all up. That is, give all of your own strength
up to God and empty yourself out and give it your all trusting the results up
to the one who has complete control. So he gets out there on the field (battle
ground) and positions himself (facing his enemy) and runs all out and kicks it
with all that he has (fights), and…. Well, you will have to see the movie to
know what happens next.
But
seriously that is what we are faced with in each of our walks with the Lord.
The one thing I will say that helps me stay in the fight no matter how hard
things get, and that is to stay vulnerable and honest, exposing all that I am to
my spiritual mentor and spiritual authority. If you don’t keep bringing your
struggles and falls into the light exposing them for what they are and not
sugar-coating it, then you will be an easier target for satan and his angles
and they will develop a strong hold on you and before you know it, you will be
left out in the dark coldness separated from the Lord. But thank the Lord He
has made a way for even then and that is brokenness that leads you back to Him
(repentance).
Reflection:
When
we stumble and fall and get so discouraged and it even feels like it’s all up
hill is when we need to get right back up out of the mud and ask the Lord to
clean us up, confess our sins and ask for His forgiveness and repent. Then, If
we have truly done that we can boldly go on with the fight and stand firm in
His promises to prosper us in all that we do because we have delighted in Him
and He is faithful and true to give us our desires as they match up with His…
see Psalm 37:4.
Challenge:
Today take time to really consider if
you have truly confessed all that you need to so the Lord can bless your steps.
He will not bless that which you still have grips on. He is a gentleman and
will never pry our grips from things we want to keep hidden, but as you open
your grip wide He can take it freely and you shall be clean.
-Doug McGowan
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