Friday, September 21, 2012

Running after His heart gets messy


Today’s scripture:
“…God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” (Acts 13:22b)

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)

I want to be the first to say I do not have it all figured out. The more I learn about God and the more I learn about the way I REALLY am, I’m humbled to say I have got so much to learn! If I can be a little transparent and real with you, there are times that I feel like the devil himself. I struggle with so many things that are within my character. This is not a beat down on Doug session, but I just got some insight of what God is wanting to do inside of my heart and it is so humbling.

Just when we think we are doing good and got it all together, God knocks on the door of our heart and says “We need to have a talk”. Lets be honest, those are not very comforting words to hear from the one who knows everything there is to know about you. Seems as the closer I feel like I’m getting to God, the more I am so very different than Him.

I do know that God absolutely loves a broken heart. He will not ignore a broken heart. He can’t! …see Psalm 34:18 and 51:17. Since I came to the Lord back in 2006, I have always wanted more of Him. I am on a constant search of His heart. Even as I write this my heart aches for Him. I think we become broken and ache for His heart when we realize that it isn’t anything we can do to make us grow spiritually. In fact, left on our own, we will destroy everything we touch, even ourselves within time.

Even as I run after God’s heart I feel like I stumble all over the place running in a staggered and crooked line for my target. But, God is not concerned with how it looks. I mean, it doesn’t have to look perfect. He is more concerned about our pride and if we are willing to submit to His will for us. Praise God that He isn’t concerned with us being perfect or even close to looking good. Sometimes I feel like king David or Peter the fisherman, often stumbling in sin and inserting my foot into my mouth before I consider what comes out of it.

As I write this I’m reminded of the christain movie “Facing the Giants” by Sherwood Baptist Church. There is a scene in the movie where one of the football coaches is trying to teach the kicker (who has never played football) how to kick a field goal. The kicker kept trying to make it look good but he just couldn’t get it thru those posts. Then the coach says to the kicker who’s name was David in the movie, “It doesn’t have to look pretty. It doesn’t have to look smooth. It can look like a dying duck, but the ball has to go through the middle.”

That’s what I feel like most of the time, a dying duck flopping thru the air. But, as long as I am not giving up and keep fighting my flesh it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t look pretty. At the end of the movie, the kicker “David” is faced with his biggest challenge to win the game. He has to kick a 51 yard field goal and his mind quickly fills with doubt that he can’t do it, and left on his own he can’t, but the coach says to him give it all up. That is, give all of your own strength up to God and empty yourself out and give it your all trusting the results up to the one who has complete control. So he gets out there on the field (battle ground) and positions himself (facing his enemy) and runs all out and kicks it with all that he has (fights), and…. Well, you will have to see the movie to know what happens next.

But seriously that is what we are faced with in each of our walks with the Lord. The one thing I will say that helps me stay in the fight no matter how hard things get, and that is to stay vulnerable and honest, exposing all that I am to my spiritual mentor and spiritual authority. If you don’t keep bringing your struggles and falls into the light exposing them for what they are and not sugar-coating it, then you will be an easier target for satan and his angles and they will develop a strong hold on you and before you know it, you will be left out in the dark coldness separated from the Lord. But thank the Lord He has made a way for even then and that is brokenness that leads you back to Him (repentance).

Reflection:
When we stumble and fall and get so discouraged and it even feels like it’s all up hill is when we need to get right back up out of the mud and ask the Lord to clean us up, confess our sins and ask for His forgiveness and repent. Then, If we have truly done that we can boldly go on with the fight and stand firm in His promises to prosper us in all that we do because we have delighted in Him and He is faithful and true to give us our desires as they match up with His… see Psalm 37:4.

Challenge:
Today take time to really consider if you have truly confessed all that you need to so the Lord can bless your steps. He will not bless that which you still have grips on. He is a gentleman and will never pry our grips from things we want to keep hidden, but as you open your grip wide He can take it freely and you shall be clean.


-Doug McGowan

No comments:

Post a Comment